Free Thought, 8/19/09 MOVIE EDITION

Make a James Brown movie NOW!

If there's a guy who should play the Godfather of Soul it should be this dude! I saw Step Up 2 The Streets and was like "I FEEL GOOD!" (No homo.) He definitely has the right look and if you throw a permed out black wig on him he's good to go. I think it's about time for a JB movie since he's contributed so much, not only to rap music, but to music as a whole.

Dead Stars = Better Money Making Movie?

Last weekend the world lost comedian Bernie Mack and soul singer Isaac Hayes; Mack on Saturday and Hayes on Sunday. Ironically, those guys were set to star in the upcoming drama Soul Men also co-starring muthaf*ckin' Samuel L. Jackson. This only made me wonder if this is some type of new game Hollywood is running to stir up hype for movies. If you remember, the Dark Knight lost two of its crew, a special effects technician and actor Heath Ledger. I don't really need to go into what Mr. Ledger's death brought to the Batman craze since it obvious some of the movie's mass gross is from people wanting to see one of his last performances.
I don't know, but these two soul brothas dying so young and sudden with this strange movie situation surrounding them seems kind of iffy. I hope nothing too deep is going on up in Hollywood.

Thoughts on the Next NEW Batman villain

Already there's been a lot of talk on who the next Batman villain would be and most of it has been about The Riddler. If the Riddler was brought to the life in this new Chris Nolan vision I think he would have to screw with Batman by sending him text messages about stupid puzzles and things like that. I just thought that was funny because that didn't really happen in the comics. That kind of reminds of how Harvey Dent became Two-Face in The Dark Knight, unlike the original comic story (Refer here). I probably really need to see The Dark Knight again since I really don't see why people like it so much…

Personally, I think the next Batman villain should be The Penguin. Imagine a slimy, deformed, gruesome man mad at the world because his nose looks like hooked shlong. He would have to be a mob guy too and the fact that he has umbrellas that shoot bullets would look tight as hell on film. I SAID IT FIRST.

Where is Jim Carrey?

Back in my era, we didn't have the silly Will Ferrell flicks, we had Jim Carrey flicks. Dude was the man in Dumb and Dumber, Liar Liar, The Truman Show, The Mask, and MANY other blockbusters. I remember when I was a kid my friends would imitate him and it would be annoying as hell.

As far as I'm concerned, he hasn't made a movie worth watching since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and that was a serious role.

Would somebody please bring back the Jim Carrey I knew in Dumb and Dumber so I can bust a SERIOUS GUT!

I'd like to see him in something along the lines of The 40 Year Old Virgin; just funny all the way through. The man used to be a straight CLOWN!

Belly 2
stars the Game and it looks very lame. Beat that Fitty!

Stop the Spoof Movies
I just saw the trailor to Disaster Movie on TV and it looks atrocious! Stop it! I thought Meet The Spartans looked the same way. Stop it! Whose actually buying tickets to see these movies? Retards and Bush supporters. One in the same, huh? But for real, stop making these silly low budget films just to cash in. Stop it!

The 7 Ingredients of Tyler Perry Movies
In the event of Tyler Perry being everywhere (films, televison, Star Trek), I came to the conclusion that all this man's movies are basically the same. It's the same Soul Food-esque film about black families going through the ups and downs of Christian life. Big ups for cashing in on these Keisha Cole song singing black women, but I don't see how this same formula keeps working. I'll break it down for you and give you the 7 INGREDIENTS OF TYLER PERRY MOVIES...

Ingredient 1: An ignorant black woman
Every one of his movies has an ignorant black woman. If it's not Madea, then it's some chick who's attached to an a$$hole man and "can't let go".

Ingredient 2: A No Good, Low Down, DOG MAN
The villain n*ggas in Madea movies are mean for NO-REASON-AT-ALL!! It's like they're programmed to say the most off sh!t that you could NEVER get away with saying to anybody without getting shot (twice...in the head).

Ingredient 3: A Frankie Beverly & Maze jam
You can't go wrong with the black women audience here. It's something familiar and something to sing along to. It's probably one of the only songs they ACTUALLY know the words to if it's not a Mary J. Blige hit.

Ingredient 4: Model Women
Throw them in the mix. Why? I don't know why. Real n*ggas don't watch Madea movies. Hahahahaha!

Ingredient 5: Model Dudes
Throw them in the mix too. Why? Maybe to cash in on the black women audience...I think so.

Ingredient 6: A LOT of RELIGION
The same Madea that totes a gun around, poppin' caps will give you a lesson about prayer soon or later. If not her, then right after a love song they'll be a good 'ol church revival with the cast who all have surprisingly good voices.

Ingredient 7: The "Good Man"
The women in his movies are always approached by the "good man". Yet, they are attached to Ingredient 2 who treats them like garbage. They can't find the courage to diss the bad dude, BUT they can rip a new one into the "good man" who shows interest. The "good man" always keeps up his game, eventually winning the chick though.

Until next time,
LeAndre

Sorry for the silly font. It's a technical problem.